Searching for the right one – Travails of a transition phase

I guess it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what this post would be about.

Right now I am on my way from the bliss of bachelorhood to the monotony of matrimony. This transition phase is very very VERY interesting, indeed!
The most interesting part is when your semi-traditional, semi-modern parents ask you to look at a bunch of online matrimony profiles and seek your opinion.

Here are a couple of examples ( I am restricting them to only 2 because all of us have read quite a lot of forwarded e-mails in this regard)

This girl, S begins by proclaiming ‘I am born to Party” what? Hey this is not Orkut or Myspace.. Then she goes on to enlighten us with this piece of info –“There is nothing much to talk about me ”... Then quickly adds, “This platform is not enough to describe me!!” If there is nothing much to talk about you, then how come this platform(sic) is not enough?!??! D-uhhh...

Profiles created by parents are equally enlightening.

They usually begin like, “We are looking for a suitable alliance for our daughter...” And ... And... It ends there!! What? Do you think the rest of us are looking for onions and tomatoes here?

God! Everyone is looking for a suitable alliance for their loved ones. What differentiates your daughter is what you should be putting there, madam.. But I guess even that profile would have got atleast 113 "Express interests" by now.. There might be guys who would express their interest if they just know the gender of the person to be female, all other things (including the species!) do not seem important.

Nowadays, it seems girls have become a rarity. This skewed up demand and supply ratio is really hurting us, the Guys. During my MBA, I used to be a fan of Economics and lapped up all the economics related lectures. I loved the subject.. But the ‘Demand and Supply’ cliché has been blurted out to me innumerable number of times by all and sundry, that now I kinda hate economics..

Appa says ”Demand for girls is more and the girls are playing the waiting game” What???

Mama, “Girls have become a rare commodity”... mkum!!!

“The opportunity costs for the guys are more than for the girls nowadays” – My best friend. Yei summa etho sollanumnu sollaatheengada..

Another Best friend, “Nowadays, guys should constantly work on improving their comparative advantage in order to appeal to girls”... Dei, uthai vaanguveenga!

I wanna punch Adam Smith in his eye, because now I hold him responsible for all this.

Being born into a South Indian, Hindu, Tamil, Brahmin, Iyengar, family has had its advantages. Not the least are emphasis on education, cleanliness, vegetarianism, tee-totalling etc. Also add to it the wonderfully profound religious philosophy that trickles down to the next generation with ease. Had I been born anywhere else, I might have easily gone astray. So I do thank my roots for having made me whatever little I am.

Belonging to such a niche community, also has its disadvantages, especially in the marital front. Having a taste like a connoisseur doesn’t help either!


PS: This view is from a guy’s perspective. No offense meant to anyone. I am sure there would be girls out there who might feel the exact opposite way. I empathise with you and I have one suggestion, “Try improving your comparative advantage!!!” :-)

A vaudevillian who loves doughnuts

Vaudevillian - Well, that’s what I am. And a foolish one at that… I am constantly performing (i.e., talking to myself as though to a third person). I guess I would have done well on the stage as a stand-up artist of some kind. Hmmm... Probably a comedian of some kind.. May be I would do better than Russell Peters (Ithu konjam over thaan). But I certainly wont resort to making fun of my countrymen in order to succeed. (Must admit though, that he is very good at that)

The whole problem started last night when a couple of my friends suggested that we go for a New York trip this Saturday (i.e tomorrow).. So here I was this morning talking to myself the things I would be writing in my blog about that trip. About how I would compare New York to London. Oh! That magical and nostalgic City.. My first love outside India... No city outside India can compare to London... But then I am being prejudiced and judgmental here... Let me give New York a chance. (More about New York and London in my next post)

But that's not the point of this post.. This post is about me being the foolish Vaudevillian... I was constantly talking to myself last night and slept late, talked to myself while shaving in the morning and cut myself, talked to myself in the shower, almost slipped and fell down and nearly forgot that I had an 8:30AM breakfast meeting with my client manager, Mr.E

So, why am I in this constant dreamy state? Only God knows why. May be I am what they call a 'Romantic Idealist’… Maybe I read too much fiction... May be I refuse to grow up... May be I am like Calvin... Maybe I am Calvin… Not sure where my Hobbes is.

So, what did my daydreaming, self-professed mono acting give me? A bruise on the chin at the max... So, disheveled and desperate, I dragged myself to this "Break fast meeting" (that almost broke my back) with Mr.E (or kosu, call him whatever, I don’t care). I was 5 minutes late. Again, I didn’t care. I just wanted to get through with it... But then... But then...
The courteous, most generous, and absolutely awesome Mr.E had brought Doughnuts and Coffee with him... (Did I call him Kosu? I take that back...) Oh! Long live that poor soul!!!

Doughnuts!!!!! hmmmm... Where would mankind be without them.. (Yeah,, I know I am
exaggerating). But, they more than made up for my otherwise drab morning... Thank you Mr. William Rosenberg for founding "Dunkin". And Thank you Mr.E for breaking my dieting regime!


PS: As I wrote this post, my mind aimlessly wandered (as usual) to this brilliant "Introduction of V" from the thought-provoking cult movie, V for Vendetta...
"In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance, a vendetta held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose. So let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

Maybe Maybe...

There is this place, this wonderfully nice place, a place that is ethereal, a place that is sweet, a place that is endearing.. It is called home.. sweet home... And I am not there... Instead I am in this place called the land of dreams, America... I guess it is quite rightly called the land of dreams, coz after coming here, I constantly dream .. dream of going back home.. Back to where I belong... To the traffic snarled roads... to Partha temple... to Sathyam Theatre, to Marina beach... to maami’s mess in Mambalam, to my cozy bed.... Hmmmm... So many dreams... Indeed America is the land of dreams...

And then I take 2 steps back, look at my situation and wonder why I miss all those things. Why I am unable to appreciate the myriad of beautiful, differently interesting things this country is able to offer me. Why is it that whenever I say ‘Home’ my mind goes to Chennai and not to my plush apartment here in the US. After all even Chennai is not my original Home...

So why am I able to accept Chennai as my home but not this place? The reason is may be I don’t have anything to look forward to here. No one to come back to after a hard day’s work. Books and quality movies have sustained me for long. Not any more... Maybe I should join a Salsa class... Maybe I should learn to play the Cello... Maybe I should go trekking on weekends... Maybe I should start going to a pub and learn to drink beer... Is this what they call a ‘Mid-life crisis’.. At 28 I guess it is a little too early for that.. Or is it? Maybe I should get married.. Then may be... may be I might be a lot happier... Maybe I should look at this philosophically....

Phew... a lot of ‘Maybe’s up there.....

No... I am unable to look at this philosophically... I am still confused... May be its because I am not fully involved in my current work... Maybe because I am unable to watch cricket matches... Maybe because India is losing in cricket matches... Maybe because I am starting to lose hair... Maybe I should get a Hair transplant.. Maybe I should get a Head transplant.. Maybe because I need a new hobby... Maybe because I am lonely.. Maybe because I have no one here to hang out with... Maybe because all my best friends are in India.. Maybe because of the time difference that prevents me from calling them whenever I want to.. Maybe because its too cold here..

Anyway, I am feeling a little better after writing this blog...
So.. Maybe I have to start blogging again!!!!